Francine 2: Little Black Dress
Saturday, January 16, 2010 at 10:16PM 
Francine 2: Little Black Dress © January 10, 2010 by Donna L. Faber during Mercury Retrograde. This piece is done on Strathmore Bristol Vellum, 100 lb. paper, with Prismacolor markers. The original is 14” x 17”. Francine’s face has several layers of vellum, and as a result, her eyes have more depth than I expected. As I write this blog post, Mercury has just gone direct, and thank heaven for that! Communication has been murky at best on all planes.
I am genuinely surprised and delighted that Francine, my internal muse, did not go quiet with the completion of “Don’t Tell Me To Stop”, and so now “Francine 2” is it’s companion piece.
Francine is forever the eternal and relentless lover. She seeks love in all places, without boundary, without rest, and in defiance of convention and standard morality.
In this piece, she asks, “Will you take a chance on me?”
Many of us have childhood stories to share. I was raised in less than ideal conditions, by neglectful parents, and I was predated on by adult men as many girl children are. I’m sure some of you were raised in conditions far worse than mine, and some of you were blessed with satisfying and even ideal childhoods. Whatever the case, we were all tasked with building the rest of our lives on what we went through, however imperfect the foundation, however precariously our emotions were rendered. Childhood is the time when our reactions are set, determining the lens with which we view the rest of our lives.
As we grow, we make mistakes although many of us strive to do the best we can. We have hopes and dreams. We fall in love and get hurt, and grow in and out of friendships and relationships. Along the way, we make incredible emotional investments in the people we love, many times looking to them to hold us aloft on the strength we do not yet have, or do not believe we have ourselves. We project so much on those we love, so much. And those people close to us, in their ignorance and selfishness, their abject human-ness, deal emotional blows that hurt far greater and deeper than we ever, ever anticipated. There are even times when we blame ourselves, as if our behavior has anything to do with the carelessness of others. It is one thing to take responsibility for our own mistakes, but assuming the yolk of guilt for those of others is entirely another thing, and such an easy trap to fall into.
This is the most delicate, and yet most critical part of being human. We strive to do what is best, but many times it isn’t what is best for us. Women are rendered fathomless, and our hearts become a Pandora’s box of secrets. Our burden can become very, very heavy.
Through these trials and no matter how hard it is, we must find our way back to an emotionally healthy place, a place that affords us happiness and even glimpses of joy.
But how?
Experience has a way of pushing us through hoops that can be quite uncomfortable. Certain people come into our lives and their very presence teaches us about ourselves. We are yanked right out of our comfort zone. Do we welcome this experience or fight with it? Do we crave growth or do we yearn for the comfort of habits and predictability? I believe if you looked in the mirror you would see a person who harbors a bit of both. We take two steps forward and one step back and so on. It depends on the incentive. It depends on the strength of our desire.
Francine is the part of me that isn’t afraid to take risks. I don’t mean careless and stupid risks. I mean emotional risks. The kind of risks one must take in order to find love, friendship and then ultimately healing. We can refuse to be ruled by our negative emotions. They say hate is the opposite of love, but I don’t believe that at all. Hate is sister to love. They have the same passionate blood running in their veins. It is fear that is the opposite of love. It is fear that leads to emotional stagnation, and then finally the complete negation of effort.
The path to healing turns it’s back on fear, and takes us out of our protective shell and into creation. The path to healing is fraught with risks, true, but with Francine, we are in good hands.
In the dark of night you put your head down on the pillow, and in the silence there is only you, your thoughts and your God or Goddess. However, Francine won't be ignored, and she is there in your bed whispering in your ear (how did she get there?). You feel her hand on your hip, familiar yet tentative. The other is warm against your cheek, cupping your beautiful face (and, yes, your face is oh so beautiful). Her auburn hair is spread beautifully across the pillow. You are warmed by the heat of her body against yours, yet her green eyes penetrate the oceanic depths of your eyes, and it is a bit unsettling. How does she know you so well?
Francine knows what you’ve been through, because she’s been through it, too. It may have been in another time and place. It may have been another life, but she understands, because she felt that emotional burden, and she remembers. She sees what others can't see, and she knows your secrets. Still she does not judge you. She only wants to love you.
Do you feel her?
Francine whispers and you feel her warm breath on your neck. She smells like sweet mint.
She says …
Try not to be afraid.
Forgive yourself, and take a chance on joy.
I will not judge you.
I won’t hurt you intentionally, and I won’t let you down.
Let me love you.
I won’t hurt you, my darling.
I won't hurt you.
Oh Francine, how I adore you.
So much love,
D~
This original art is available for purchase. Please contact the artist directly for pricing and information.
See this piece on Redbubble.
The companion piece to this is "Don't Tell Me to Stop". Read more here.
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